Where do I even begin? Well I guess right here. I have my chilled glass of red wine next to me. I just finished doing a mild cardio/stretching workout à la Fitness Blender. It’s been a few days since my last workout and they have been a little inconsistent. Today I felt very compelled to workout because I remembered how much better I feel, mentally-physically, when I do some form of exercise and obviously it’s true because here I am with the urge and inspiration to write this post.
I’m working on shifting my views on exercise, not forcing it when my body doesn’t want it and not beating myself up over it. Understanding that I workout because it makes me feel like my best self and not because I’m trying to prevent weight gain. Recently I’ve been struggling with low vibrations and I can’t really pin point exactly where it’s coming from. Honestly, it could be a combination of several things.
For starters, I’m about to wrap up my second year in Korea and take some time to vagabond around. Despite my fears it’s really a dream come true to have this opportunity and I’m excited yet a little nervous. The nervousness comes in when I think about what I should do after. The common questions lately have been, what are you going to do next? Where will you be headed to next? What are your plans next? But i don’t have a definite answer which is not like me. I ALWAYS have a plan, right now i don’t have a plan. The only thing I know is that I’m headed to Thailand on Sep. 10th. I bought a one way ticket. I’m going to spend some time in Bangkok, then Chiang Mai, then Phuket. After that I don’t know. I did browse tickets to Malaysia and Philippines and they are very affordable so it’s very possible that I’ll head over there too. Some aspects of these travel plans I feel anxiety about because I know people back home are waiting for me so i feel a little rushed to get back. They keep asking when I’m coming home. The date keeps changing.
I remember a few months ago when i was really excited to go home soon after completing my contract. I made all these plans with friends and family for when i get back and now i’m like uh… i’m not exactly sure when ill be back. I think in October… or maybe November.
Some days I can handle the emotions better than other days. It just feels like there’s a lot going on mentally as well as physically sometimes. I want to tend to both but deep down I know i need to start with the internal. You ever feel really detached from your spirit? That’s how I feel when I’m not doing the things that keep me grounded such as listening to my body when deciding what and when to feed it, meditating regularly, exercising (including yoga), and writing. So basically my routine has just been out of wack with my move and closing the Korea chapter. I believe I’ve gotten all that I was meant to from here and so that’s why I’m certain it’s now time to go. I was telling a friend the other day how Korea has felt like that comforting bubble that for instance being away at university for several years and only needing to focus on that provides. Until you leave and then have to go out to the “real” world or begin adulting. Korea has involved some major adulting for me just in a different way than it was when I was still back in Toronto.
Outside of this I’ve also been working through some personal issues involving my emotional eating habits. This topic deserves it’s own post so I’ll be sharing that with you soon.
Let me know if you’ve experienced any of these things and how things went for you. Also, let me know if you have any Thailand must see recommendations!
Thanks for reading, friend.