What do you do when you can’t breath because the walls feel like they’re going to cave in? When you can’t catch your breath and you’re fighting against your gag reflexes. You keep thinking, what am i going to do?
I recently had one of those days. One of those days that has you rushing home at the first chance to rethink life, why you feel so unfulfilled, what you could possibly not be doing right. So you quickly scan your head trying to think about who you should call to talk you off the ledge but fear of judgement or burdening another won’t allow you to pick up the phone. So I picked up my computer and started writing. This is that. *takes a deep breath*
It’s always been very hard for me to ask for help. Whether it be at work, school, etc. I always like to figure things out on my own for the most part. The problem with that is if things get overwhelming, it’s already too late— boom, panic attack! Since I pride myself in being able to figure things out on my own, it’s difficult to break the habit. As well, I know how important energy is and I believe that if I don’t speak out my problems, then I won’t be manifesting them in the hopes that they just won’t exist.
Side note, this incense I’m burning is really helping. I feel more level headed already. I’m certain writing this post is helping too.
What I’m learning is that as happy as I feel, on most days, from doing things for myself and looking forward to the things to come, we have our off days sometimes too. But those off days are very necessary to grow and learn our limits. You may just be surprised at how much you can actually withstand.
After its all said and done, I’m proud of myself for pulling through on this, and alone. Sometimes you need a good cry alone, reevaluate your life, light some incense and take some deep breaths. The next day go in with your head held high and a stronger person because you got yourself through and you will continue getting through. If you can relate to any of this I hope you feel as relieved reading it as I did writing it.
This one is for you.